by Martyn Carruthers
Systematic transformation is always available to responsible people who wish to evaluate and change their life patterns. A major step in this transformation is in finding a stable experience of integration and connectedness that helps people live meaningful lives, while resolving issues that have prevented such a life. We call this experience "Soul".
The first step of Soulwork is building trust. Complaints are discussed and general goals are found, so that each subsequent step is goal oriented. Physical, mental and relationship health is assessed, to determine whether Soulwork is likely to provide appropriate solutions. All unconscious objections are clarified to ensure that the goal is EXACTLY what is wanted.
The next step involves resolving any current crisis that preoccupies the person. This may include resolving any guilt from having violated relationships. Without this, people may be unable to resolve their life issues. This is also a time to check a person's relationship matrix - especially with their family. Many people are "frozen" into family situations. This step "defrosts" old habits, clarifies relationships, and brings peace.
Integration helps people find and stabilize their experience of connectedness, which brings ongoing integrity. This integrity is a basis for deep Relationship Work. People can restructure their relationships, and, during Trauma Work, people can resolve any traumatic memories. The final Role Model Work helps people re-evaluate old role models, and choose new inspirational models.
Soulwork helps people find complete solutions for neurotic and addictive behavior, such as compulsions, addictions, unhealthy relationships and emotional problems. Soulwork also alleviates many psychosomatic symptoms, and helps accelerate the healing of some physical disease. Although most adults can begin Soulwork immediately, people with psychosis, dementia or brain damage are unlikely to complete this work.
Soulwork incorporates a number of interwoven concepts.
1. Soul is an experience of identity
Soul refers to an experience, not a philosophy. This experience is not egotistical. People often call it “the real me” or “my true self”. Soulwork provides ways to stabilize this experience, so that it may be expressed as part of everyday life.
2. Soul is an experience of connectedness
Soul “connectedness” may be to people, to all living things, to the planet, or to the universe. The key elements to experiencing this connectedness are resolving crisis, guilt and inner conflict.
3. Soul is an experience of integration
People often talk and act as if they are fragmented. Comments like “I don’t like the part of me that...” are common. Such “parts” are often in conflict. Soul may be called the identity that exists before fragmentation. Soulwork allows a person to resolve inner conflicts by acknowledging the wisdom with which the conflicts were created.
4. Soul is an experience of integrity
During Soul experience, people can re-evaluate relationships, and choose to maintain relationships that support the expression of Soul. Clarity, responsibility and honesty characterize decisions made from Soul.
5. Soul can guide a meaningful life
People often describe Soul as “the true me” or “my highest potential”. A person often visualizes a “perfected” self-image, or finds a compelling “voice of conscience”. This self seems to bridge the abstract experience of connectedness and the concrete details of everyday life. A person can refer to Soul for insight, guidance and integrity for life situations.
“Soul” is an experience of integration and connection that can guide our lives. However, “Soul” has other meanings. In this context, there are many things that Soul is not.
What is Soul Not?
1. Soul is not a religious idea
Soulwork has little in common with philosophical discussions. Yet any philosophy that encourages integration, quality relationships, self-acceptance and finding life goals, encourages a person to experience Soul.
2. Soul is not a personality part
A part that is lazy, a part that likes chocolate, a part that loves beauty - accepting a “part” is a step to Soul. A part can be likened to a facet of a diamond -the rainbow light within a diamond expresses the relationship between a person, their facets and the world.
3. Soul is not a relationship.
Soul is closer to that which connects people, a “connectedness” which is neither one nor the other. Soul is closer to a sense of “resonance” that is described when two people accept or love each another unconditionally. Soul may be described as the multi-dimensional experience of connectedness that is the source of all connectedness.
4. Soul is not an emotional state
During Soulwork, emotions are considered useful communications of personality parts. Accepting emotions as communication is a step towards experiencing Soul.
5. Soul is not inner dialogue
The functions of inner dialogue seem to be to learn from the past, to analyze the present and to plan the future. Following integration, people often say, “It’s quiet inside me!”
6. Soul is not a desire
Goal work can help a person find an “ultimate” desire, which is usually “I want to fulfil life!" Such a desire may motivate a person to live Soul.
7. Soul is not ego
Soul can be described as the ego of the ego. A person’s “ego” can be likened to an adolescent personality “part”, dissociated from identity!
8. Soul is not an emotion
Soulwork assumes that every emotion has a positive benefit. Finding the benefit of an emotion is a step towards Soul.
9. Soul is not the world
A ruin, a mountain scene, a country garden or a home may be places where one can look at the world with a sense of magic, a sense of mystery, and a find a sense of Life.
Soul Experience
A person experiencing Soul will spontaneously sit or stand erect, with a symmetric body and face, shoulders back, and with the head tilted up. Eyes may be open or closed, usually with soft facial muscles and “pink” facial skin. Breathing is deep and regular, and structural muscles are relaxed, without being flaccid.
Verbal descriptions of Soul experience are paradoxical. A person may say that he or she can examine their life, and their relationships with others, with intense passion and with utter neutrality. A person may say that he or she is experiencing normal awareness at a “more profound” level. A person may simply say, “I am awake”.
A person experiencing Soul may say that he or she can clearly experience all emotions and inner sensations, while simultaneously being fully aware of all external senses.
People often describe Soul experience with abstract metaphors. “I am a drop of water in an infinite ocean”, “I am a child of the universe”. People who experience Soul will agree, while others may try to interpret such metaphors analytically.
Soulwork Sequence
Resolve Guilt. People with overwhelming guilt from having violated an important relationship will sabotage their success and happiness until such guilt is first resolved. Further work would be difficult at best until guilt is resolved.
Handle Crisis. People in crisis (e.g. divorce; war; pain; unwanted pregnancy; unemployment; suicidal, etc) often age regress and are unable to focus on how to fulfil life purpose. Deeper work would be difficult if a person is preoccupied with a crisis.
Phase 1: Re-evaluate Self
Phase 2: Evaluate Relationships
Relationships with strong feelings of bonding can be re-evaluated from Soul. Dependency and codependency bonds are recognized, and a person can evaluate the consequences of ignoring or changing these bonds. Unwanted bonds (e.g. “I feel bonded to an ex-partner. This bond prevents me from finding a new partner”) are changed. On completion, a person can express Soul within any relationship. A person gains choice in how and with whom to build relationships.
Phase 3: Evaluate Trauma
Traumatic experiences are normally associated with strong emotions. These emotions can overwhelm person and sabotage important goals. (E.g. “I am overcome with sadness when I remember that event.”). The sources of these emotions often include abusive and traumatic events. If a person chooses to accept lessons that were previously ignored, on completion, a person finds all emotions motivating (e.g. “Sadness about my past reminds me to make the most of my life”). Most emotions are healthy responses to unhealthy experiences. A person can feel good while pondering unpleasant memories. Emotions motivate the achievement of important goals.
Phase 4: Evaluate Role Models
Role models are people from whom we have consciously or unconsciously learned behaviors and attitudes. After trauma work, a person can identify and evaluate role models, and choose whether to replace the role models and the imitated beliefs and behaviors. A person can choose which role models to emulate and which new behaviors to actualize.
A person can decide how he or she wishes to fulfil life. A person can choose which influences are desirable, and resolve any unwanted behavior not already resolved, in alignment with that person’s desire for living a meaningful life.
(Complementary Soulwork skills are Couple Coaching - coaching two people simultaneously to evaluate and fine-tune their relationship, while finding ways to improve their communication, team coaching skills and team leader training.)
Soulwork and Disease
During and after Soulwork, many clients report that disease symptoms spontaneously vanish. Blood chemistry stabilizes, allergies evaporate, and migraines cease. Similarly, many panic attacks fade away, addictions cease or compulsive behaviors evaporate. Regardless of the medical diagnosis, there appear to be four types of disease benefits:
1. Disease expressing Inner Conflict
Integration work alleviates symptoms of mental and physical diseases that are based on inner conflict (e.g. a person with inner conflict may be forever tense and experience stress-related disease, such as digestion and heart problems).
2. Disease expressing Relationships
Relationship work alleviates mental or physical symptoms needed to maintain unhealthy relationships (e.g. a person may say, “I am only cared for when I am ill”). A person's disease may be a way of bonding to another person.
3. Disease expressing Trauma
Trauma work alleviates mental and physical symptoms based on overwhelming emotions from trauma. For example, a person may have had a traumatic experience, and withheld expressing the emotion(s) related to that experience. Diseases may form in the location of the body in which a withheld emotion is felt. Many people say they feel anger in their stomach, heart or throat, and frequently report chronic medical symptoms in the same location.
4. Disease expressing Role Models
Role Model changework helps to alleviate the symptoms based on imitating unhealthy people. For example, a person may have a similar symptom to a favored teacher (many students of Milton Erickson, the famous American psychiatrist afflicted with polio, developed polio-like symptoms).
Summary
We do not offer advice, nor “do things” to people. Instead, we accept people as they are and encourage them to explore life choices, and the consequences of those choices, and to choose each “next step”. We do not lead, nor follow, but commence a “Soul-to-Soul” relationship. We help people, in friendly ways, to remember that they are Soul.
Soulwork is encouraging people to achieve fulfilling goals. Soulwork is helping people define and create appropriate relationships. Soulwork is facilitating the resolution of emotional experiences. Soulwork is helping people to plan and achieve their goals. Soulwork is an experience of connectedness - integrated people become their own teachers, coaches, mentors and therapists. Soulwork nourishes a person’s inmost core. Soulwork is an expression of Love.
Notes
Acknowledgements
Soul Centered Changework originated with an attempt to model native Hawaiian healers, using NLP principles. I particularly thank particularly Papa Henry of Hilo, Uncle John of Molokai and Auntie Margaret of Kealakekua. Janelle Doan (Professional Angel, Canada) and Annegret Hallanzy (Family Therapist, Germany) provided enormous insights in understanding and interpreting the results. Many Soulwork breakthroughs occurred in Poland. I am grateful to Terenia Marciniak and Monika Nowak (Soulwork trainers and therapists in Warsaw, Poland) for their encouragement and assistance. I also thank Carolyn Martin, (a Soulwork trainer and therapist living in Florence, Italy), for her wisdom, and Nenad Maljkowic, (social entrepreneur in Zagreb, Croatia) for helping organize Soulwork training. Finally, I thank my most demanding teachers, my clients, who motivate me to further develop Soul Centered Changework.
References