My family has a tradition of making dreams come true - while taking a long time to do it. My mother is a recognized healer in North Wales and is fulfilling her dream of being a professional archaeologist. She is now a specialist in Dark Age Anglesey, an island off the coast of Wales, which was a famous center of Druids training. My father is more down to earth, and dreamed of his own home - which he now owns outright in South Wales. Each of my sisters have fulfilled their dreams - one has retired on her "tips" after working on an ocean luxury cruiser. Another is a special needs teacher - her dream come true. Another is running a holistic health center in Spain and the last has built a large craft business. I'm still working on it. My dream is to give something worthwhile to the world.

With both Celtic healing and pragmatism "in my blood", I completed school and studied health physics, then worked with nuclear submarines and nuclear reactors in Wales and Canada. Later, as a trainer, I searched for effective ways to teach physics to others.

I studied accelerated learning, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis, and began offering these skills in a private practice. University students preparing for examinations were very interested, especially after some "average" students had "superior" examination results, and there was some heated discussion as to whether hypnotically induced learning was actually "cheating".

At any rate, these techniques seemed more effective than the teaching skills I suffered at school and college. I thought that the best way to accelerate learning was to help students improve how they store and access information. However, many people had deeper issues, and "poor learning strategies" was only one manifestation of them. Many accelerated learning skills had only short-term effects. This was fine for examinations - but not very useful for life.

Many people cannot learn until some of their basic issues are resolved. For example, a person in a crisis cannot focus on new information, a person with a lot of guilt is likely to sabotage their learning and immature adults can avoid responsibility by avoiding learning. Other key issues are a person's relationships and history (see "Preventing Learning Disabilities" at www.soulwork.top.pl for more information on this).

These issues are associated with many mental and physical health symptoms. Yet, these symptoms can vanish if a person resolves inner conflict, evaluates relationships with integrity, resolves emotional trauma and chooses appropriate role models. However, it's rather easy to point at WHAT needs to be done. I wanted to know HOW I could do it!

Accelerating Healing

In a quest to find balance in my own life, I began applying accelerating learning to healing. At first, the results were peculiar. Accelerating the healing of a disease often shortened the disease duration but increased the severity! Removing symptoms with hypnosis appeared to work for a short time, but often the symptom returned within a few days or weeks, or a different symptom developed! Something was missing in my overly mechanistic approach. People do not let go of their suffering so easily.

In a series of wonderful co-incidences, I was invited to teach in Hawaii, with all expenses paid. While there, I met Papa Henry, a native healer (kahuna La'au Lapa'au), who became one of the most influential people in my life. Papa Henry's healing work far transcended my somewhat crude hypnotherapy. He helped clients learn from their diseases, as if each symptom was a teacher. (Papa Henry: "It is more important that people learn from their diseases than that they heal them!") He often helped people heal their bodies by healing their relationships, using a ritual called ho'oponopono. (Papa Henry: "Your body reflects your relationships.") He helped me see a different world, hiding just under the surface of the world I knew. The world has not been the same since.

I returned to Hawaii many times to study with Papa Henry and other healers - especially Auntie Margaret Machado of Kona and Uncle John Kaimikaua of Molokai. These were wonderful times - challenging and replacing concepts almost daily. I enjoyed the "prove it" attitude. Theories were a dime a dozen; we tested every theory to determine whether it was, or was not, useful. This attitude fit well with my technical background, so many theories have little or no application and I want proven ways that benefit people.

For example, a Hawaiian theory is that we keep ele’ele eke or “black bags” in our bodies, containing memories and emotions from traumatic experiences. The locations of "black bags" in the body are often associated with chronic disease. Opening a "black bag" opens the possibility of integrating forgotten qualities and resources. For example, I found that I had a "black bag" concerning my parents' divorce - and in it was my playfulness. I would like to offer you, dear reader, a way to test this theory - some questions for you follow. After you complete this exercise, read the last paragraph of this article!

Remember a time when you felt exceptionally angry. Remember how anger felt in your body! Where in your body did you feel anger? Where was the center or source of your anger (not the effects - for example tight muscles or pounding in the ears)? How old do you feel emotionally, when you feel exceptionally angry? How old do you act? What happens if you are with another person is also angry? Now - STOP - and reread and consider your answers before reading the last paragraph.

People who had "spontaneous" remissions from serious disease are fascinating, and I explore their healing processes with hypnotic regression whenever I can. Many times, in many ways, I heard people say "The disease became my friend" or "The pain became my teacher". It seemed increasingly likely that a person could create a disease to obtain important benefits - most often relationship benefits. This meant that if a disease could be fully accepted, and the benefits obtained in more enjoyable ways, a disease might vanish, if tissue had not degenerated or been removed.

Another theory test - if you have a chronic disease - what are the benefits of this disease? What does it prevent you from doing - that you don't want to do? What does it cause other people to do to you? Does it invite expressions of love and attention? Does it keep certain people away from you? Does the disease say something for you - that you can't say for yourself? What do you find?

Exploring the benefits of disease indicate that many disease symptoms - perhaps 75% - are appropriate for people's lives! Although the information is confusing, the deep issues that create disease seemed to be loneliness, guilt, inner conflict, relationships, traumatic experiences and the health of chosen role models. Ask your physician what percentage of their patients has disease symptoms that are related to lifestyle and relationship chaos. Most doctors I have talked to estimate between 40% and 80%. Consider the possibility that 40% to 80% of drugs are not needed, that 40% to 80% of hospital beds are needlessly filled. Consider how much human suffering is avoidable!

I had been a NLP trainer for some years, as NLP opened another door to helping people end suffering and change their experience of life, but I still sought a "big picture" into which all this information would fit.

I was blessed to know a Canadian consultant-trainer, Janelle Doan (a professional angel- really). We researched the metaphysical implications of the altered states used by the old Hawaiians. I was also fortunate to know a German family therapist, Annegret Hallanzy. Annegret and I worked together in Bavaria to investigate the health consequences of relationship issues. We explored the structure, effects and consequences of the Hawaiian relationship rituals and the Celtic healing rituals, and we compared them the relationship consequences of other changework techniques. This was quite a sobering experience. People will do many strange things to "get rid of" disease, but not so much to prevent it.

NLP provided a tool set to model the Hawaiian and Celtic techniques, and these worldviews expanded the scope of NLP. More importantly, our results exceeded our hopes - many of the esoteric techniques used by Hawaiian healers could be translated into a psycho-philosophy that generated simple, effective and lasting techniques. I taught and used these skills in Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Poland - and found that people of different cultures could easily use the same techniques. (Later work with Arabs in Germany, with Zulu people in South Africa and with Vietnamese immigrants in America indicate that these skills are truly cross cultural).

This synthesis represents a very big picture indeed. I call it Soul Centered Changework. Each phase coaches people to find integrity, and to end or control physical, emotional and mental disease symptoms, IF a person is able and willing to fulfil his or her relationship responsibilities. They are not very useful for adults who prefer age-regressed behavior. (A classic example of age-regressed behavior is obvious if I ask, "How old does a man act - when he is sick?")

1 - Motivation (Suffer all you want!)

For most of us, the first step towards health seems to be "suffering" - living the consequences of immature decisions. Suffering persists until we decide to take full responsibility for living! Pain happens - suffering is optional! Suffering seems to be a human way to motivate action. We use suffering to build self-respect, and often enshrine it as "holy". Many people have told me that suffering makes them better people.

How much suffering is enough? If you haven’t suffered enough, you can choose to suffer some more, but what is the point of your suffering, if you can't enjoy fulfilling your life?

2 - Guilt (Self-sabotage)

What makes us "ready to change"? The next key is resolving guilt. Guilt comes from violating relationships - typically from hurting or abandoning a parent, partner and/or child. If we have violated many relationships, we will typically and consistently sabotage our own happiness. We can resolve guilt forever by making amends with people we have hurt.

3 - Integration (The Path of Gifts)

Inner conflicts are obstacles to change, until we recognize and accept the alienated parts of ourselves. Parts express themselves by incongruence - e.g. a person shakes the head while saying "Yes". Parts can be elicited, accepted, acknowledged and integrated until the person experiences self as an integrated whole.

I once wanted love and freedom, but I believed that if I had love, I could not be free, and if I was free, I could not have love. I could not resolve this conflict on the level on which it was manifest. However, I could resolve it by accepting both motivations simultaneously. Then, the conflict becomes a stepping stone to integrity. Both sides of the conflict had qualities and abilities. Nothing need be lost forever.

In old Hawaii, if a person died and was not honored by the family, the dead person's spirit was thought to haunt the family, often living in a child. I prefer to say that a child may identify with a dead person. Similarly, a child might identify with a family victim, or a unsung hero. Such children grow up hiding their own identity, and express a false identity to the world. We can honor the false identity to find integrity.

4 - Soul

At the end of the Path of Gifts is an experience of integrity. Many people describe this experience as "connectedness" - as a relationship with the universe in which all possibilities are available as ways to express deep creativity. Many people spontaneously called this experience "Soul". I asked some religious experts as to what Soul might be, and received enough conflicting information to drive me back to physics. However, I honor the wonderful Souls that I have met, and the name "Soul" seems to fit well.

Integration is complete when we can experience "Soul" as a basis for evaluating life - for creating possibilities, for making decisions, for evaluating relationships, for changing beliefs, for resolving past trauma and for choosing mentors. Finding "Soul" is a wonderful experience. It is like finding a loving mentor who supports you without conditions or criticism. Conversations with Souls are enlightening. I have never met a Soul I didn't love.

5 - Relationships

Having experienced Soul, we are usually eager to have "Soul to Soul" relationships. During Soul to Soul communication, a casual human relationship becomes a spiritual event! Relationship bonds prevent this, they are ways that we lose integrity and stay dependent or codependent.

We can find or lose ourselves in relationships. We may search for love - or we may think that love is using someone so that we can feel good. We may want someone's assets, we may express someone else's emotions, or we may act dependently. Instead of expressing love, we may bond emotionally to someone or we may accept limiting beliefs.

We can resolve bonds with our important relationships, which usually include parents, spouses and children. If we can access Soul, we can consult an always-loving, always-responsible, high-integrity mentor, to help answer the question "How can I fulfil life during this relationship?" Part of the answer may be in "What can we learn together from our Soul-to-Soul relationship?" Such answers are often profound.

Aka Bonds ("You are part of me")

An "aka" bond is a Hawaiian concept, describing an emotional connection and a potential loss of identity. Aka translates as smoky, sticky, braided and stretchy. For example, "I have not seen so-and-so for years but I feel like we are still connected". Such bonds are feelings that negatively affect our sense of self. They may encourage demands (e.g. "Because I feel connected to you, I want you to...").

Thoughtform Bonds ("To be with you, I cannot be me")

My Hawaiian teachers describe "thoughtforms" as "dark energies in the body". They represent a loss of identity, usually by a limiting identity-belief (e.g. "I am bad"). We reject contrary evidence, and endless encouragement does not reduce their effect. Such beliefs bond us to important people. For example, I saw my father as "bad", so I was "bad" too, and our mutual badness seemed to be the only bond we ever had. Thoughtform work can free us of self-hatred and encourage loving acceptance - of others and ourselves.

Bond work is complete when we can re-create and enjoy our relationships, with a lasting freedom from old influences. By accepting full responsibility for our relationships, we can decide to create happiness.

5 - Reconciling Trauma

Past trauma often provides emotional obstacles to living joyfully, even if we have little memory of them. If taking a concrete step towards achieving an important goal elicits strong emotions, the emotions may prevent achieving the goal. Such emotions will probably originate from unresolved trauma.

Unresolved trauma is associated with anger, and/or fear and/or sadness, typically arising from events in which the person's values were violated. Traumatized people are often afraid to express their anger, and often sad that they cannot express their anger. Resolving traumatic events requires that we re-evaluate the events and decide how to express emotions in a way that supports us achieving our important goals.

Completion

Once trauma is reconciled - life makes sense! We can make integrity decisions independent of bonds or past trauma, and we can decide how to express emotions appropriately. We can now freely choose mentors that inspire our future. There is Life to be lived.

This does not mean that life is suddenly easy and idyllic - quite the opposite! We have important goals to achieve - which means we have important decisions to make, and important problems to solve. As we strive to achieve our goals, we will have MORE challenges, MORE decisions, and more Life.

You, and I, can decide to ignore our past - or learn from it. We can ignore our future - or plan it. We can ignore other people - or create fulfilling relationships. We can choose from infinite possibilities.

Other articles about Soul Centered Changework and Hawaiian healing are at www.soulwork.top.pl

(Results of Exercise)

Probably, your center or source of anger was on the centerline of your upper body, in one of the "chakras". Most likely, you experienced anger in your throat, heart, stomach or solar plexus, and a few people find an anger center in the forehead or on top of the skull. Probably, when you are exceptionally angry you act childishly. Possibly when you are angry, you act much older than you body age. If someone else is also angry, you may find yourselves fighting like children.

© Martyn Carruthers, June 2000. All rights reserved. E-mail Martyn at for permission to publish or reprint.

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